momentarily content. =)

let's let the pictures do the work shall we?


i bought alfiyan a sunflower...


...baked him cookies (with the help of adilah)...


...and did my hair before meeting my darling on the 28th!

he looks like he has lost weight, doesn't he?


but still super gorgeous and adorable! sexier, though, since he's a soldier and all! hehe.

alfiyan: i swear i did a funny face like you told me to but the camera didn't capture it!
me: zzzzzz. -_-''


enjoying some pastamania.

waiting to watch fantastic four at cathay cineleisure.

much love, baby! =)

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Day 12

i swear i'm the lousiest girlfriend ever on the face of the earth.

i know alfiyan's not having the best of times in camp - being bald, surrounded by guys only and stripped of most comforts, he's bound to be cranky now and then. so i do try my very best to cheer him up at the end of the day, and usually i'd like to believe that i'm able to. tonight, however, was a different matter.

not only did our conversation make a turn for the ugly, both alfiyan's hp batteries died while we were talking halfway, thanks to me not being able to let issues go. the 9watt battery that he got his sergeant to buy was also completely used up by then, so our conversation ended pretty abruptly. and the worst thing was, alfiyan lost a total hour of sleep that he's supposed to have to prepare himself for tmrw's busy day - running, route march and weapon presentation ALL THANKS TO ME.

sigh. i feel like such a failure.

and yet alfiyan's still the best boyfriend ever who's willing to risk anything and everything to make me happy.

oh pleasepleaseplease god don't let him get into trouble.

and to think our day was actually a rather wonderful one - alfiyan called me every single time he was able to, which was quite a number of times since he didn't have many programmes today.

did i mention that i'm the worst person ever to be a girlfriend?

anw today was spent mostly talking to alfiyan on the phone and doing light strength training while watching inside man on vcd. i was supposed to have tuition, but that was canceled since fauzan called to say he was too tired and sick.

oh, and i ate a lot again today.

sigh i'm so depressed right now. baby i'm very very sorry for causing our day to end on such a lousy note. i promise i'll make it up to you one day.

i love you sayang - you're everything i've ever wished for, and more.

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Day 11

i think i've sort of gotten the hang of alfiyan being in ns. sort of. it helps a lot that alfiyan calls me whenever he can - lately i've been receiving at least 4-5 calls from him before night time falls. :)

i thought day 11 would be spent doing nothing constructive just like in day 10, but thank god arifah saved me. arifah and i went shopping at bugis!! and i bought this dress which i really love for $28, although the chest area is rather tight. the store keeper suggested that i perhaps wear a smaller bra next time, and even asked whether "they" were real. -_-'

but whatever. i had tuition again at 8pm, and briskwalked home. that works better for me actually, because not only does that get my heart pumping faster, i also reach home earlier as compared to if i take public transport.

oh alfiyan's electrical hp charger was confiscated last night when his sergeant was checking his drawers or something. it wasn't like he was actually using the charger, since i already bought him a battery-operated one so i hope he doesn't get punished like having to be detained for another week. :(

this probably means i won't be expecting as frequent calls from him in these last few days since he'll have to conserve what remaining battery power there is.

i had trouble sleeping again yesterday, and this time i know for sure what the cause of it was - i was just extremely hungry! i forgot to eat throughout the day since i left to meet arifah immediately after chores, and went home for like only half an hour to clean up the house and pray before i had to leave again for tuition. so in the end, after a couple of hours of trying to ignore the hunger, i gave in and made myself a jam and butter sandwich and also some dry cereal at around 3am. :)

i fell asleep only at 5am, though.

well ok this is where i end for now - have to get iffah ready and send her for school. bye!

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Day 10

omgomgomg day 10 is over!!

and you know what that means - only 4 more days left till i can see alfiyan again!

BIG YAY!!

of course, the next 4 days will probably drrraaaggg on as they usually do when you miss someone but ahh who cares? 4 days is a lot shorter than the 10 days which have already passed! :)

ok so anw. there isn't much to say about today except i spent lots and lots of time moping around at home. i was super lazy to do anything, not even housework, so don't even bother asking about whether i exercised. to make things worse, my appetite was noticeably larger today (and i blame it on the fact that my period is due) so i ate like a big, fat cow.

there goes all that effort i made for the past week.

ah, well.

alfiyan called me numerous times today, too, and we smsed for quite a while when he was resting during the day. the best thing was - we spoke for A WHOLE HOUR at night! well, we did that last night, too, but that wasn't the same since i was rushing home from tuition. today's was much MUCH more blissful.

i love alfiyan very very much! even though we've not met for more than a week, he always makes me feel as though he's still close by with his comforting, sweet words said in the voice that i've grown to be fond of.

hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs baby!!

i can't wait to see you again, sayang!


we part only to meet again...

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Days 8 & 9

okay i just found out that an old friend from primary school had read my previous diary entries and suddenly i feel all embarrassed and exposed. oh, well. it's my fault for writing so openly about my experience of being away from alfiyan while he's doing his confinement. :(

but i guess i won't stop now, since i was already halfway through. nobody else has to read it though! this is a warning! hahaha. i don't want you to sue me because your computer short-circuited from all the barf that came after reading my entries.

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Day 8

somehow after i got back from my aunt's place the night before i started itching. initially i thought it was just the work of pesky mosquitoes, but when i was still up, scratching so many body parts at 2am in the morning, it occurred to me that the mosquitoes weren't to blame at all - my allergies were acting up again!

so i'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that that was the second night in a row that i barely had a wink of sleep, but not without trying. i applied liberal amounts of tiger balm all over my body hoping the heat sensation would distract me from the itch but that worked for an hour at most. i went to the doctor once i knew they were already open, and received an injection for my allergies.

that put me to sleep for at least three hours, so yay that was half my day without alfiyan gone! :)

when i woke up i started feeling all sad again so i logged onto msn looking for victims. lucky for me, an old friend from andalus was online and we arranged to hang out at about 5pm. although we met for barely a couple of hours (only two hours because the effects of the injection was starting to wear off which meant the rashes had come back), that was enough to have endorphins flowing in my bloodstream again! we talked about quite a number of things, which made me feel tons better.

i canceled tuition because of the allergies.

alfiyan called at night as usual. the same thing that has been happening for the previous nights happened again, but that doesn't matter because it's all good now. alfiyan's the best boyfriend-who's-in-ns that i could ever ask for, really.

after some initial distress because rashes had broke out EVERYWHERE, including on my face, i slept soundly for the first time since alfiyan had booked in, thanks to antiallergy medication. :)

Day 9

A GREAT DAY.

alfiyan called me SO MANY TIMES, and he was so sweet every single time. it was such a pleasant surprise, because i was getting used to the sporadic phone calls that i had received for the past eight days or so.

at first alfiyan suggested that i don't go out shopping like i had planned to, since my rashes hadn't gone away completely at about 5am. but they did by the time i woke up at 10am, so yay!

i met anusha at orchard at about 2.30pm (she was late!) and we went off in search of things to buy. unfortunately for me, i didn't find many things that i really liked or that were worth parting my money for so i only ended up with one top from f21. anusha, however, bought soooo many things i almost felt jealous! hahah. i had lots of fun, thanks to anusha's company and alfiyan's calls and smses.

but oh! alfiyan's hp almost got confiscated, though, because apparently they aren't supposed to make any calls during training hours although they are having free time. i was extremely worried that alfiyan would get into serious trouble, but thank god it was just a warning. phew! from now on he has to be more careful when calling me in the day, i guess.

at night i had tuition. i think i make the lousiest malay tutor EVER because i have to look up the dictionary for practically every other malay word. -_-'' and there was this big hoo-ha at my student's house when nobody knew what a certain peribahasa meant. SO PAISEH.

alfiyan called at about 830pm when i was only half an hour into the tuition session, saying he was already free for the night. :) and so that was the reason why i took a cab home so that i could talk to him as soon as possible. we didn't argue at all that night.

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okay back to my old friend from primary school. as embarrassed as i am that he had read my entries (also since he's an officer), i am rather touched by his gestures, too. on his blog, he presented what both sides in a relationship are experiencing during the ns period, and that sort of enlightened me a bit. oh and he posted this on his blog:

i wonder, if that last part is true, how else can a boyfriend NOT be routine in ns? after all, he is in a military environment where schedules must be adhered to.

anyway. it's nice when friends are there for you during tough periods like these. sweet, thoughtful smses that i never expected to receive never fail to cheer me up during my loneliest moments. :)

thanks everyone!

and since i'm in a rather good mood, here are some overdue photos:




i love my boyfriend!

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Day 7

i could not sleep at all last night. apparently blogging didn't help in eradicating the tears and restlessness - it might've worsened them, in fact. i tossed and turned on my bed for hours and hours, with thoughts i DON'T want to be thinking whirring in my brain. i finally dozed off at about 6am, and woke up at 10am.

alfiyan called at 6plus as usual to say hi, good morning, etc.

i did the laundry and dishes. i took my shower, got ready and left home at about 1215pm, embarking on my slow walk to neni's house near admiralty to pick up nani banun's glasses. alfiyan called during my walk, and i think i intentionally did not brighten up my voice like i usually do. or it might've just been the lack of sleep. or pms. probably a combination of all three?

i met my cousin annur at yishun interchange at 130pm. we took bus 39 to ris grandeur, kala yati's house at pasir ris. we hung out at nadja's room, i fell asleep on her bed. we went down to swim. i did 7 laps, which was so tiring but fulfilling.

i did not plan on having dinner but since annur and i stayed over at kala yati's house till 8 plus, i had no choice but to eat something. kala yati ordered pizza and i forced myself to take a few bites, but in the end i gave up and just ate the pizza topping. :)

alfiyan called some time after dinner. he didn't sound happy knowing that i was still at pasir ris, he said he had to go to bed soon since he will be having ippt the next day. i told him that i would talk to him during the journey home. but when that moment came, he said to call when i was home.

we fought again.

i told him if he expects me to be understanding and supportive of him while he's in ns, he should give the same to me too. i'm glad he understood.

i understand now why so many relationships don't work out when the boyfriends are in ns. most of them change, some for the worse with regards to sensitivity to someone else's feelings. i don't blame the girls for wanting to seek solace in another guy, but it is still wrong.

i pray that will not be me one day.

The Diary of How I Survived 2 Weeks Confinement - Days 1 to 6

i've been meaning to write blog entries chronicling every single day of when i'm apart for the very first time from alfiyan - for 14 whole days, but i never got around to it till now simply because our last entry was his and a mere glimpse of it might just trigger the waterworks.

thank god it's gotten easier now. easier, but not necessarily EASY. i still cry at some point every day. a friend (who's undergoing the exact same thing i am right now) says it's silly for me to waste my tears like that, but i guess she's a lot stronger than me emotionally. it's just not the same for everyone, is it?

so many people have warned me that the first few weeks would be rough, but i never took heed of their words because i thought that the relationship i have with alfiyan is different - that we're strong. but boy was i wrong. it IS hard, harder than i ever thought it would be. and don't get me started on the aching pain of emptiness that i'm feeling in my heart right now. i could go on and on (as i have with a couple of my friends) but nothing makes it feel any less painful.

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so let's move on shall we? days one to six, in chronological order:

Day 1

i reached alfiyan's house at 7am, and after all the last minute packing and breakfast, alfiyan's mom drove us over to pasir ris bus interchange, where we were shuttled to SAF ferry terminal, from which we were ferried to pulau tekong. i was pleased that everything looked new, since it meant that alfiyan will be housed and fed in pretty decent conditions.

at this point i was still just savouring the moments with alfiyan (and his family, of course) so i was rather calm. the sadness started seeping in during the oath-taking ceremony for the new recruits. that was when i realised that alfiyan really was going to be away for a while, and he's going to undergo a tremendous change during that period. and that's something i DON'T want to happen because i love him just the way he is.

during the food tasting session i spotted a girlfriend sobbing on the shoulders of her boyfriend, and i pointed them out to alfiyan. he said, 'thank god we got that done and over with yesterday, right syg?' and all i did was nod. but i didn't agree. my tears weren't done and over with then, but i just swallowed them in and showed a brave face to alfiyan because i knew that was what he needed - to know that i'll be okay.

a brief hug and peck on alfiyan's cheek marked our separation. the tears started only after i parted from alfiyan's family at pasir ris - it just went on and on and on from pasir ris mrt station all the way to my home at woodlands. i found myself at a loss on how to handle my newfound solitude so i did the only thing i knew - look for people to talk to. thanks especially to zurah and ella, who have always been there for me to talk to online. :)

that got me through most of the day. that, and alfiyan's call at about 4 plus telling me he's okay and that he's missing me lots. at night, we talked for about half an hour, i think half of which was spent with him hearing me sob and not knowing what to do. i'm such a crybaby, i know.

i did not eat lunch or dinner.

Day 2

alfiyan called me at about 530am, telling me that he was heading for morning exercises.

i woke up at about 8am, but forced myself to go back to sleep with the hopes of making my day as short as humanly possible. it was not to be because i was wide-eyed and clearheaded by 930am. i am embarrassed to admit that i was still pretty much a tearful mess then, so i put on as many layers of thickness as possible onto my face and smsed adilah, a good friend whom i have not been keeping in contact regularly and sometimes even blown off because i've been too busy with alfiyan.

i'm really blessed to have a friend like her - she was there for me throughout the morning and all the way till about 4 plus, distracting me from my grief with silly little stories which made me laugh and cheered me up instantly. we also made plans to meet up once she received her pay, as i did with anusha (to go shopping and beach!). knowing that i had something to look forward to in the coming two weeks had me smiling even more. :)

at 5.00pm my sisters and i headed down to jog and cycle - which did wonders in making me feel better, too, actually. i guess what they say about exercise, endorphins and happiness is really true, eh?

alfiyan called at 1230pm, 630pm and 10pm, which was SO GREAT. it was all in all a pretty awesome improvement from day 1, and i remember telling alfiyan that i hoped such high spirits will last all the way till 28th june.

i did not eat dinner.

Day 3

alfiyan called at 10plus in the morning, apologising for not being able to call at 530am as usual because they were not allowed to wake up too early in order to benefit from as much sleep as they can possibly get.

i woke up, did housework, and did light weights training in my room. i had vowed to myself that i would do everything i could to lose at least a couple of kgs while alfiyan's away, since he's likely to be in better shape himself. alfiyan called during lunch and we talked for a couple of minutes before he had to go again.

it was only after i had taken my shower that my mom said that our father's day plans were not going to happen after all, which left me depressed since i had been hoping for it to make the third day pass by faster.

thank god my friends were there for me again. i smsed arisya and halimah, and met up with them in town. it was really cool catching up with them - i used to spend tons of time with arisya and halimah back in J1 since all three of us used to be in the percussion section of the band. they're both looking great, btw. hehe.

alfiyan only called at 1020pm (apparently he had such a busy day signing up for rifles and whatnot, and were assigned toilet cleaning duties), but i was still in the mrt then. that got alfiyan pissed off because he's not too keen with me going home late alone. he hung up on me, i cried, he lectured, i cried some more, but eventually we made things right as always.

i drank a cup of milo throughout the entire day.

Day 4

alfiyan called at 6plus in the morning, saying that he was headed for another round of toilet cleaning duties.

i woke up at 10plus, and proceeded with my usual household chores.

at 1pm, alfiyan called saying that he had just eaten and was free for an entire hour before they had to start with their running training. that was the greatest one hour (or more like 45 minutes) since alfiyan booked in - we talked like we usually did when he's home and that made me sooo happy i felt like my face was glowing.

such elation fueled me with enough determination to train for almost two hours - a fulfilling two hours, i must say, although it left my muscles and joints aching even more than they had in the morning. that occupied most of my afternoon, after which i joined my siblings in watching the last half hour of some indonesian horror movie on suria.

i cycled to my tuition venue. BIG mistake, btw - there were so many ascending slopes! i was huffing and puffing barely halfway through and perspiring like mad. on the way back home, i gave up (because my stamina was too poor plus my thighs were burning like hell from the afternoon's exercises as well) and walked my bicycle home. how sad is that?

alfiyan called when i was still having tuition. poor guy was so exhausted from running, but he still waited for me to reach home and talked to me for at least 15 minutes before going to bed.

i ate two mango slices and a donut that day.

Day 5

alfiyan called at 6plus saying that he was just done with breakfast.

i was woken up by halimah's sms at 840am saying that i was needed to help arisya surprise shahid for his birthday. i folded laundry, hung laundry and did the dishes before getting ready and walking to admiralty to meet arisya. admiralty because arisya said that streetdirectory.com said it was the closest mrt station to block 844 - NOT TRUE. block 844 is like ten minutes' walk from my house, which is closer to woodlands. but oh, well. i made such a useless woodlands guide because we had to walk for almost half an hour looking for that block to pick up arisya's cupcakes.

then we met halimah at woodlands. arisya left to meet shahid at raffles place (leaving the cupcakes with us), and halimah and i window shopped at causeway point and had lunch at banquet. we were an hour late in surprising arisya and shahid at the Singapore Botanic Gardens because we got lost halfway TO the place and IN the Gardens itself. it was all great, though, because halimah and i talked like we've never done in at least a year and i was enjoying the increased heart rate and perspiration from all the walking.

after the surprise, halimah and i headed to PS and bras basah complex (walking all the way, mind you!) looking for stuff for her brother. i had so much fun! the best thing was, that was most of my day already spent (enjoyably, too!) - all i had to do was head on home, have a good old relaxing shower and wait for my darling to call to just complete a perfect day.

or so i thought. something went wrong in the middle of my conversation with alfiyan, and we argued really badly. it was worse than usual from knowing that i won't be meeting alfiyan the next day to make things better. but alfiyan (as i have mentioned time and time again), being the bestestestest boyfriend ever, sacrificed a whole hour of his sleeping time just to make things right again. and for that, i will always love him very very much because i know he does me, too, otherwise why would he even bother risking falling asleep during training the next day just for me right?

i ate chicken at the end of the day.

Day 6

alfiyan called at 6plus as usual, after breakfast.

i took my time getting up since i knew i had absolutely zero plans for today. i did the laundry, vacuumed the house, etc. i spent hours and hours in front of the tv with my laptop, organising photos that i want to develop and searching high and low for sweet little love quotes and poems to be compiled into the scrapbook i'm HOPEFULLY going to make for alfiyan. i'm such a loser at artsy stuff like these, which is why i said HOPEFULLY. hehe.

i talked to alfiyan at about 4 plus, and 7 plus as well, at relatively long periods of time. i cleaned the fridge. i washed the dishes. i helped my siblings with their revision.

alfiyan called at 10pm, saying that their lights have been turned off half an hour early that night. we talked pretty nicely for a while, up till when i asked why he sounded so sian talking to me. i guess it was in the way i asked or commented on it, because that got alfiyan all riled up. which led us to argue for a second night in a row.

it was even worse on day 6. but alfiyan was still the sweetestestest and stayed up all the way till 1140pm, and even called me back after we hung up just to make sure i had stopped crying. i know i'm such a selfish brat. i am. i am. how can i not be more understanding? how can i make him stay up so late knowing that it'll affect his performance the next day?

i hate myself so much sometimes. i'm not kidding.

he doesn't deserve a girlfriend like me.

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sigh. so that was my first six days. it was quite like an emotional roller coaster, especially today. i think alfiyan is right. i AM pmsing. my period's due tmrw (but it'll probably be late as usual), which explains why i'm still up at three in the morning, blogging away in an attempt to chase the tears and restlessness away.

oh god, please make the next eight days pass by faster.

what a super long entry, huh? and very boring, too, some might say. but i don't care - there may come a day in the future when i would want to look back and remind myself of how hard this period was for me, and to remind me that alfiyan's the best i could ever ask for and that i should always always appreciate him more.

ok i guess this is it for now. more to come, i hope! :) bye all.

Hi all.

Past few days have been kinda alright i guess. Mostly and generally happy days, thanks to nurul and the IRAS people. My last day of work was on wednesday, and the gifts that i got from my colleagues! Here's a summary:

1) Royal chocolate cake and mango cake slices (Si Ying)
2) Home-baked cookies(Diana)
3)A FILA tshirt from my supervisors(Norhana,Jeslyn and Hafizah)
4)A whole chocolate cake from Royal(Hanisah and Aysha)
5)A soft pillow from Hallmark(Alina,Li Wen and Sook Cheng)
6)A huge soft toy rose and Swiss delice chocolate(Aishah and Lina)

and... last but not least, the grandest gift of all:7) One side of a used broken rubber slipper(Fairul)

Just wanna say thanks to all my ex-colleagues for being a great company during these 3 months at work. Also, thanks for the gifts and food!

Alright, with that cleared, lets come to the main part: me and nurul.

Lol, well we now have LOTS of time to spend together before i migrate offshore on 14th June. She bought me a NEW ring from metallurgy! Its simple,sleek,lovable, cuddly, shiny, elegant and....New.
Haha most importantly, it's from Nurul! To complement the situation, i also got for her a lady version of the ring. so now we both have rings which are simple,sleek,lovable, cuddly, shiny, elegent and....New.

You know something? A year ago or so, if i stepped into a lingerie shop or department, i would freeze up awkwardly. I wouldn't look at a soft toay and go, ' wow this is damn cute!' and I just could'nt cry. At present day, things have changed. I could lift up a brazier from the shelf and swing it round and round in full view of everyone in Metro without me peeing in my pants(FYI, i'm at the lingerie dept with nurul of course!). I would go 'oooooh so cute!' over a soft toy. And... I could cry. I've become soft. Should I change? HAHA. ...........

Oh anyway, I bought a Pooh plush for Nurul and i can bet that she really REALLY wanted it judging from the events that happened before purchasing it, hahah, your'e just too cute la nurul. She was really smiling from ear to ear after that.

I really don't like it when nurul puts up entries saying that she's short and fat and whatever, cause i really feel that it's not true cause after all the effort she put in, she lost alot of weight and she changed physically. I love her for who she is. And, she is really the best. For me. =D

how depressing.

aaahhh who am i kidding?

i'm neither pretty nor slim, though i'm always deluded enough to believe so. probably because i make sure that i take photos only from the correct angles, but today i had a good reality shock. let me show you what i mean:








see? just your regular neighborhood short and fat girl. sigh. it's time to go back on that salad diet and 2 hour weight training regime, that's what i think!

and today i was so mad at my siblings for snatching my pooh bear away from his rightful place on my bed and playing with it while i was out. it was on the floor of my sister's bedroom when i came home!! now NO ONE can EVER touch my pooh bear again. NEVER AGAIN.

anw just to make myself feel better, here's a more flattering photo from today.
sigh. such an embarrassment, me.