a further update.

it occurred to me that i totally forgot to update about one of the highlights of my week: meeting jesvin after like, a gazillion years! :):)



i felt really bad cuz i could only meet her at like 8plus at night after first saying that i could do so earlier. ;p but i'm lucky that she's really understanding about it all, despite the fact that i took her away from her zee tv programmes. sorry jesvin!

anw while waiting for her at the shop n save entrance, there was this bangladeshi worker who crept me out so much with his incessant staring! plus he kept following me - when i entered the shop, he entered with me and couldn't stop staring with those beady eyes and when i went out to another shop he was there too! it was so scary, but luckily there were a lot of people and i had my darling yan and jesvin (for the later part) accompanying me. :)

then when jesvin arrived that same guy re-appeared again from around the tent and we started gesturing towards him with our umbrellas (in an attempted menacing manner lol) but apparently he thought it was all a big joke. *rolls eyes* so jesvin and i moved away from that area to talk somewhere else! hehe.

it was so great to hang out with jesvin, although it was only for about 10-15 minutes. i miss the old times in secondary school, i remember always laughing with her on lots of occasions! but anw. i'll be meeting her again real soon, when alfiyan's done with his exams and all. i'm positive the two of them will hit it off really well because they're both outspoken and good-humoured people. and they're also two people i love. hehe.

well ok that's all i wanted to say! it's almost time for that well-anticipated soccer match on home ground btwn s'pore and m'sia. bye, all!

after a week of absence

as for me, it was the start of tutorials for a few modules: malay culture & society, new media & society, geography lab, and psychology. they were better than i expected i guess, since i found myself less self-conscious and shy than usual, =) =) especially for malay culture & society, since the tutorial was in the form of a forum theatre, where a group of students are supposed to first act out a sketch, followed by a discussion, and then that same group of students will carry out the sketch again, but this time, the audience will be allowed to intervene and be part of the sketch as well. i actually volunteered to be one of the actors the second time round and found myself having fun doing it! :)

this week's psychology lecture was quite interesting, i think - it was about visual perception and optical illusions and all that stuff. there was this one image which left me so intrigued, it might actually cause me to major in psychology after all! hahaha. ok here it is:





cool right? there's an explanation for it, but unfortunately i wasn't paying close enough attention to the lecturer to remember what it is now. something about our minds being so attuned to the regularities of nature that because there is a shadow over box B, our minds will immediately think that box B is a lot lighter than box A. you guys can go check it out yourself here.

and yesterday after my psych lecture yan and i went to watch a movie again:



we both thought that the movie was supposed to be pronounced gri-dee-ron gang, but actually it's grid-iron (like the iron used to press your clothes) gang. for me, it was a typical inspirational movie which lifted my spirits and instilled some sort of belief in myself that if they could do it, then so can i. hahah cheesy, yes. but it was sooo much fun being at the almost empty cinema with alfiyan, laughing and being scared at the same scenes of the movie together. <33.

till then, people.

happy =)

i had an awesome day today! :)

it started off early, with me heading to SP for a jog with yan. i was proud of myself cuz i managed to slow jog (and i mean reeeeaaally slow. i was practically walking!) a total of 6 rounds, an equivalent of 2.4km. an improvement of one round since tuesday! hehe. on the other hand, i know for a fact that i didn't exert as much as i could cuz i barely felt exhausted after the run. tmrw when i'm jogging with saleha i'll run faster!

alfiyan says that my arms have grown, which obviously reinforces what i've already told you about me gaining weight. ;p plus ayuni said i looked much skinnier about a year ago?

hence the reason why i'm even bothering to run at all.

but anw. after running, yan sent me to the bus stop so that i could go attend my psychology lecture. omg it was so scientific. all about neurones and neurotransmitters and astrocytes and what not. but shaza told me that psychology isn't all that scientific, it's only the biological psychology portion of it. i'm still contemplating whether or not to change my major from sociology to psychology next semester. i guess it'll all depend on how much i like this psychology module that i'm taking.

ok enough boring stuff. yan and i went to watch a movie today! that was so unexpected and spur-of-the-moment lah, which made me sooo super happy. hehe. we reached cathay cwp just in time to watch this movie:


it was an immensely gory and violent film, but i enjoyed it all the same. maybe because it's something different, and especially because i had both alfiyan's arms around me more than halfway throughout the movie.

i remember wishing that we could stay in that position forever. to me, it was as though there were just the two of us in the cinema, all other details around us blurred to nothingness. :) haha but of course i bet alfiyan was enjoying the movie too much to have time to think such thoughts like me. oh, well.

i still love him so so much, though. he was the epitome of the perfect boyfriend by being patient and understanding with me the whole day, although i kept whining and grumbling about random things that made me unhappy. now who else would treat me so well? :)

ok i better go now. bye!

p.s. yan, i know you can reach your goal. ;) just don't give up and continue running whenever you can! don't worry i'll be there running with you each time i'm able to make it, baby.

Lazyness strikes!

Hi again fellow blog readers/hoppers/writers. i know its been a darn long time since i posted an entry. Just one word.LAZY. hahah seriously, nurul has been like pestering me to blog since dunno when but i was just too lazy to type,not that i don't care or anything. I've been lazy to study,read,blog,type. The only thing i enjoy doing is, training. Yes, i've been more intensive in workouts nowadays, going back to CMPB in 2 weeks.

And my lovely lil' one has been having low moods nowadays, hmm, PMS, parents getting on nerves, PMS, PMS. yeah, basically, she just gets moody la, and usually i receive it, erm sometimes not knowing what exactly i did wrong.MAJOR. haha, but nvm i understand that its just the time of the month. It doesn't change the fact that i still love her.

Well, school's ending rreal soon, as in REALLY ending. WOw, time really is passing by real quick eh? Im gonna be in a standard uniform then for the next 2 years. hahah, yeap, HooraY!! Tmrw i got 2 tests and im gonna go for a run in the morning. SHeesh and this fri i got a hybri test, those wanna copy please sms me k to 'pakat'.

wooops, what's that i hear? isit my phone ringing? yeap, it is! gotta go peeps!

Littlest Things by Lily Allen

...The first time that you introduced me to your friends
And you could that tell I was nervous, so you held my hand
When I was feeling down, you’d make that face you do
There’s no one in the world who could replace you

Dreams, dreams of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, it seems
That I can’t shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but it’s so true
I know it’s not right but it seems unfair
That things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if only for one weekend
So come on
Tell me
Is this the end?

please say no, love. hehe.
i love you! :)

still down.

nothing new to report, just that i'm still PMS-ing. i get annoyed at the smallest things, especially towards my parents nowadays. they are being so unreasonable and not understanding at all towards ain's CCA commitment. anyone would've thought that after 3 years, conflicts about the time band ends and other issues in relation to that would settle down but nooooo my psycho dad just can't let it go. *rolls eyes*

and i still feel like crying over something, but i'm embarrassed to shed tears when there's nothing worth shedding tears over (like not being able to find my pen, for example). and i get hyper-sensitive over the slightest remark or comment concerning how i look (particularly when it comes to my body weight and how fat i am). this occurs with the aid of an over-active mind which decides to read too much into what others say. others being, of course, my boyfriend.

but i can't blame him if he does want to comment because i AM gaining weight.

anw, on another note, i think i've gotten my timetable finalised and tuesday seems to be my heaviest day. this semester i have school every day, unlike the last one, the reason being me having to read 6 modules. but i don't really mind, i guess. it beats staying at home too long which increases the risk of my parents getting on my nerves. which sorts of happens pretty often these days.

oh and it looks like this blog is starting to appear to belong to just one person only (me). alfiyan unfailingly says that he is lazy everytime i persuade him to express his thoughts and feelings out through this channel. oh, well.

PMS aside, alfiyan is as always, being as understanding and sweet as he can to tolerate me and my nonsensical behaviour in such an awful period.

hopefully my next entry would be in a post-PMS and more cheery state. till then!

the best boyfriend.

i just had to write about this before going to bed. i think alfiyan really is the most awesome boyfriend ever, because he always always will do whatever it takes to make me happy.

and i mean always.

what happened tonight actually happens pretty often, that is, me getting downhearted because i feel like i've not talked to him long enough before he has to go to bed. more often than not, i'll whine and grumble until he has to raise his voice at me to be more understanding and to appreciate him more. and usually i'll just stubbornly (and selfishly) not let him sleep until the entire issue is resolved an entire two hours later, which leads to the consequence of him not getting the sleep that he wanted.

anw. the point is, tonight, i wasn't like that. well i was, but for a shorter period than usual. i actually hung up the phone to let him sleep like he wanted to (albeit reluctantly) and my good behaviour was rewarded! :) alfiyan called me back a few moments later just to talk to me a while longer. soon my tears were gone (i was still PMS-ing hence the emotional wreckage) and my heart was soaring again. oh yes it was love.

i just love him so so so so so so much.

well ok i will go to sleep now then. tmrw i'll be going to suntec city for an NTU talk and to study! ok not really, maybe just read some text.

bye people!

how is it that the person who makes you so happy you feel as though you're floating on air, is also the one who is able to hurt you most deeply?

sigh.

on another note, my dad wants my sister (ain) to quit band because of the heavy commitment and all that, since she's going to be taking her o levels this year. i, for one, am against it because i believe that CCA plays a rather important role in jc/poly admission but my father is obstinate. it's so frustrating to speak to him because he just won't listen. i guess i get my stubborn nature, the one which makes me refuse to accept that i'm wrong, mostly from him.

darn it.

okay i think this week is my PMS-ing week because i feel so upset now, for no apparent reason. i feel like crying but there's nothing to cry over. and i keep thinking about the things which i know will make me even more unhappy, just for the fun of it. i hate PMS.

oh, and i've gained weight. i am officially fatter than before.

new semester!

today was the first day of lectures!

i had only new media and society today, which was pretty cool since we have a total of 4 lecturers who hail from puerto rico, south africa, korea and america. such blatant displays of diversity make me appreciate my education in nus so much more. :) plus i wasn't alone since adilah takes that module too! i missed her a lot during the past half a year since our schedule did not coincide in the slightest. but now i'm gooooood. hehe.

anw i've decided to drop my methods of social research module to take up an additional malay studies one, most probably malay families and households since ayu will be studying that, too, this semester. which means i will have company! ;) methods of social research sounds like way too much work for me to cope this semester, what with me having to take 6 modules and everything. 2 individual research projects where internet, newspaper and magazine resources are not allowed?! no way, jose.

this semester is shaping up to be waaayy better than the first one. for one thing, i've already secured most of my modules without experiencing much distress. i have at least a friend for company in 4 of my modules (so fun right?) my nm final exam is in mcq, and the final exams for the two ms modules i'll be bidding for will be open book! && alfiyan's polytechnic education will be ending in app. 5 weeks after which he says he will crash my lectures! yayy i can't wait. that is, if he still hasn't found a job to keep him occupied before the ns enlistment.

eek speaking of which. i am reeeeaally reeeeeaally dreading alfiyan's ns. i don't know how i am going to cope not being able to see him for a whole week, or even more, seeing how i'm able to meet up with him in the flesh practically everyday right now. sigh. howhow tell me how! the only solution i have come up with at the moment is to keep myself super busy in the following ways:

1. take up extra modules each semester! a minor in gender studies, maybe?
2. take up a job! probably a tuition job or two.
3. join a CCA! i was thinking netball, but i feel icky-ly unfit right now.

well that's all i have so far. i shall go talk to more people to get more ideas!

ok this is a pretty long entry, eh? i'm trying to keep myself entertained while waiting for my darling yan to finish his lecture at 230pm. which is in 7 mins! ok2 i better go now.

later, people.

transports of delight.

hiii!!!

i'm back (home) and i've never felt more content with my life. ;) after that dreadful new year's eve and much of the early morning of new year, i met up with my sweetheart for a while at plaza singapura where, after some initial bouts of shoving each other (hahah ok maybe not that violent lah), squabbles and tears, alfiyan, being the sweetie that he is, placated me with his kind reassuring words, hugs that make me feel like the most special girl on earth and kisses that literally sweep me off my feet.

i love him so much. :):):):)

we talked for quite a while at istana park, and after that headed on to mcdonald's where i was treated to a large chicken foldover meal! yes, it was heaven. and after that, yan walked me back to novotel clarke quay during which we luxuriated in each other's presence with long happy conversations!

i think i've gained at least a couple of kilos ever since the stay at novotel because all we ever do there is eat and sleep. i indulged myself in the wide array of foods and especially the desserts and pastries both nights, plus lunch today, too. and also not forgetting mcdonald's with yan. sigh.

ah, well. school's starting and i can't wait to embark onto my journey of knowledge acquisition yet again! it's going to be so fun! then again, maybe i'm just saying that cuz i'm in the best of moods now and i tend to forget about the stress and stuff in moments like these.

we'll see.

anw here're some photos from our novotel/clarke quay new year's celebrations (excuse the stupidity in some photos):









and here's my dearest yan in my most recent favourite photo of him:



so shuai right? *beams*

ok that's all for now! bye!

I did something wrong that spoiled her new year. yes, i was stupid. thing was, it was hari raya haji and new year together on sunday, right? and i had more plans for the hari raya rather than the new year. i was having this impression that all my plans that were planned out with nurul would be destroyed coz my family had this religious occasion at night. nurul was feeling very disappointed ever since i told her i wont be seeing her. she said to bring my clothes. but eventually, i didnt bring. i didnt realise that i couldve just brought a change of clothes so that i could meet her right after that. eventually, my religious occasion ended at 1030pm. sigghh, i asked my mum whether i could go out, she said my dad wont allow. i told nurul i cant meet her. she blew up. saying i didnt try hard enough. yes i was dumb. i didnt listen to her, i didnt try hard enough to make her new year special, so im very sorry aight nurul, i REALLY am. I love you and this 2007 will be a great year for both of us, insya'allah.

So the next day, yesterday, i met her! YAY! we had lots of fun even thought it was for a short while coz i had to attend a cousin dinner at night, sheesh, sucks. well. we had lunch at PS macs before walking to NOvotel. haha, she looked so cute in her pink t-shirt, hush puppies.

Today, i woke up at 10 after wanting to run at 8am. feeling guilty, i forced myself out of bed and started on my barbells and chin-ups. felt good and sweaty at 11am plus, then decided to go for a swim at kembangan with asyraf and sarah. ended up heading there at 4 plus. haha, nurul also reached home already by then. but anw, well the swim was okay. hmmm. i feel real lazy to type already. oh oh! yah on the eve of new year, nurul and i went to the beach! ya thats all. bye.










That's all folks!

i'm so sorry, baby.
i'm to blame for everything, me, my petulance and my absolute refusal to be the least bit understanding. and my bitchiness. it's true, you're right, i AM a bitch.

you're not at fault at all.
you're not.

i love you so much, baby.
you've done so much for me and yet you must suffer such displays of ingratitude from me. you're the best, really you are. and you're entitled to receiving more pleasantness that anything else.

happy new year, baby.
hope this year and many more years to come will bring great moments of happiness similar to those we have experienced in 2006.

much love from me to you. hugs & kisses.

2007

happy new year everyone!

tonight was the worst ever new year's eve i've ever had.

booooooo. but fuck it.