argh. i hate myself sometimes. all my life i've had body image issues with myself, all my life i've had the lowest self-esteem i know a person to possess.
in other words, i think i suck for most of the time.
i mean, i can't even look at pictures of thin girls before becoming all depressed about myself, which leads me to the kitchen where all the food is at. which THEN in turn, makes me fat. hence alleviating the sense of despair about myself. it's a cycle of misery.
sigh. i can't help that i'm like that. i don't even know WHY i'm how i am. it's not only troublesome for myself, but for people close to me as well, especially yan. which is why i've decided to choose an alternative avenue to let out all these poor self-confidence sentiments. here.
why can't i be one of those people who can control their urges and be thin all their lives and look great in ANYTHING they wear?
stupid me.
on another note. alfiyan's still the greatest boyfriend ever, i think he has the most adorable smile i've ever seen. :)
i love you baby.
