so near yet so far.

i'm pms-ing.

i'm annoyed at my siblings at their inability to keep the house clean when i'm out for tuition.

i've been eating a lot these days and not losing weight. instead, i'm gaining weight.

i'm stressed over my schedule for the coming weeks, and worse, for when semester starts.

and most of all, i'm missing alfiyan like crazy. :(

thus...
i will be in a miserable state till further notice.

:(

i am really missing alfiyan right now. :( wednesday please come quick!

"O ye who believe persevere in patience and constancy; vie in such perseverance; strengthen each other; and fear God; that ye may prosper.(3:200) It is God Who created you in a state of (helpless) weakness, then gave (you) strength after weakness."

(:

today was a day well spent.

i read the first three chapters of harry potter and the deathly hallows,


helped yazseerah move from her mom's place to her dad's place,


and met up with adilah,


and halimah.


we hung out at starbucks tanglin mall, where, thanks to arisya working there,


we didn't have to pay a single cent for our three scones, cinnamon glazed bun and two mango freeze drinks. :)











happy, full people!

tsk.

it's getting worse..
and i'm becoming annoyed.

dear god please help me.

bittersweet weekends.

"i could not ask for more than to see your smile..."

this weekend, i realised that i am a very difficult girlfriend. i've never really heard of anyone who would actually throw a tantrum at their boyfriends just because the rain ruined their hair, but you know what? that was exactly what i did on saturday, which was really unfair to alfiyan because hello, it's not like he controls the weather or anything! i bet he was especially frustrated because he's probably already used to training really hard in the rain when he's in tekong and yet there i was, whining at the slightest drizzle.

and today, while waiting for the bus that will take us to pasir ris where alfiyan has to report before booking in, i gave him a really hard time about leaving something i gave him in a drawer back at home where he will NOT be seeing it for two weeks since the next time he'll be booking out is on 3rd august.

and you know what he does?

he runs back home, field pack and all, and retrieves it. then he offers to buy me some ben & jerry's at white sands just to make me happy, but i declined since i had gained so much weight over the weekend. SO WHAT DOES HE DO??

he goes on and buys me the new harry potter book.

i know. i so do not deserve such an awesome boyfriend like him.

now let me explain to you why i have gained weight. this is a list of the foods that i have eaten over the past couple of days:

1) nuggets and one curry puff that alfiyan's mom fried the morning he booked out
2) brownies from brownie factory that i bought for alfiyan to make up for his really lousy week, but ended up eating half of them since they were too much for him
3) new york fish & chips, fried calamari rings and kola tonic from fish & co.
4) an entire regular pizza from pizza de france (alfiyan ordered two regular pizzas which we shared just between the two of us)
5) one large green tea & red bean mooncake
6) fried bee hoon
7) a few handfuls of honey stars

and not to mention the tons and tons of candy that i kept munching on throughout the two days!!

i have DEFINITELY gained AT LEAST TWO KILOS! so to make up for it, i have to go to the gym a minimum of four times and NOT eat more than 1000kcal per day for the next two weeks until alfiyan books out again.

pleasepleaseplease remind me regularly, and anyone up for gym, i'm just a call/sms away!

here're some photos from our day/s out:














i hate my handphone, particularly the camera, because the images captured are so grainy. :( i can't wait to trade it in for something lots better like k810i (for the 3.2 mp camera) or O2 (for the stylus haha). all i have to do is find out when alfiyan's contract ends so that that can be done! or better yet, i should buy my own digital camera since my mom's so possessive about hers that we can't really use it on a daily basis.

i know i said earlier that alfiyan's 6-day field camp might not be so bad after all, but i will retract my words now because i am already missing him like crazy! :( i really hope those 6 days will fly by real fast with tuition, gym and friends.

ok i guess this is it for now. bye!

TGIF

yay, it's friday! (: alfiyan's booking out at 1045am tomorrow morning but i don't think we'll be getting a lot of alone time this weekend since his dad has been admitted to the hospital for low blood sugar level and fever, too, i think. but whatever, as long as i get to see my baby i'm happy!

ok so today was spent with yaz the darling cousin:

we went to royal plaza at scotts so that she could go sign her appointment letter for her new job there as a revenue officer. while i was waiting for her to be done, it occurred to me just how much i miss working in a hotel environment. the last time was after a levels, at grand copthorne waterfront hotel where i worked as a business centre coordinator and that was the bomb!

i think i shall go apply for a position in a hotel again for next year's 3-month break. good idea, no?

i love going to the gym, particularly on days when i especially miss alfiyan or have a lot of things on my mind, like today. only i don't think i can go to the bukit gombak one alone anymore because the pakciks there keep disturbing me, it's getting annoying no matter how hard i ignore them.

ok i think this is where i end for now, i'm beat! bye!

:(

i know you won't be reading this anytime soon and perhaps never will, but...

*HUGS* SAYANG!!!

i hate it that you have to go through all the shit that you have to go through in tekong while i'm still able to take daily comforts like two baths a day for granted. it's not fair, just like how it's not fair that you have to be punished together with the rest of your platoon for someone else's mistake. that sucks, baby, but i guess that's just how it is in the military. :(

although i will never know how miserable you feel because it's probably nothing i'll ever experience, i can still very much feel the pain from hearing your voice with such low morale and depressed tones. i do hope you know that i'm always here for you, if not physically, but definitely in mind and spirit, baby.

i love you so so much and it hurts me to know that you're being pushed to such extents. i wish i could just gather you up in my arms and give you a big tight hug to make all the pain go away but i guess that'll have to wait a couple more days.

take care, alfiyan. i can't wait to see you again soon, insya'Allah!

homemade pizzas part 2.

yay clarisse has finally uploaded the rest of our photos on facebook so here they are! (:










while waiting for the pizzas to cook.




okay that's all!

anw today was the first time since alfiyan's enlistment that he couldn't call me for the entire day (well except for that one extremely rushed call in the early morning telling me he was leaving) due to a live firing exercise. it wasn't half as bad as i thought it would be, especially because my mendaki students brightened up my day despite being so infuriatingly NAUGHTY.

it's nice having my own things to do and friends to spend time with when alfiyan's away in camp. it has sort of given me this new sense of independence and... serenity, shall i say? (:

at this rate, maybe that much-dreaded 6-day field camp that will be held at the end of the month won't be so awful after all, although i'd still be missing alfiyan like crazyyyyyy.

okay see you guys later!

a pretty good day.

so my parents are back from bangkok. and they bought quite a number of things for everyone, yay! :) i received two skirts, a top, a pair of sandals and MAC rouge. and alfiyan got two silly tshirts - one with the asahi beer print and the other with dead bull. you know, like red bull only the bulls are dead?

-_-''

now all i need are just a few more tops, maybe another skirt, and i'd be all set to start the new semester! hehe. speaking of which - i really hope i get all my desired modules and tutorial slots because what with my mendaki tuition assignment, night tuition assignment and the six modules i'll be taking i really need everything to fit exactly as i have planned it in order for me to survive.

and i seriously hope that i get my introduction to cybercrime and history & theory of western architecture modules because adilah and i are planning on taking those together! i reckon it'll be fun to have a friend taking the same module with me sometimes. (:

adilah got a job at the student service centre. as happy as i am for her because she's been trying to look for a job for so long to divert from maniq, this is very sad news for me because it means that she is a lot less free to hang out with me at the really awesome newly-opened boon lay gym. anyone else interested in exercising with me? i promise i'll be fun company! hehe.

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friends are such a blessing.

today i met evonne, stella and angelia at woodlands civic centre and it was so wonderful just talking and talking about whatever comes to mind. i don't think anyone has really changed ever since our secondary school days - everyone's exactly how i remembered them to be which is the greatest thing. i really miss all the other people from evergreen whom i've not met for years, but it's so difficult to meet up nowadays since everyone has their own busy schedules.

i also bumped into jesvin when i was rushing off from causeway point to pick up iffah from school. she is such a SWEETHEART because she turned her heel around and followed me to wherever i was headed with no hesitation at all, although it meant that she would be late meeting her sister to go buy their two-year-old neighbour a birthday gift.


thanks jesvin, *hugs*!

i love all my friends. :)

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kids brighten up my day.

today i did relief teaching for mendaki for a primary 4 mathematics class and i was just so amused by all the antics, regardless whether negative or positive, of the different kinds of kids there were in the class. there's the smart boy who never pauses to impart his knowledge to any one of his classmates, the outcast who duped me into thinking that he really was sick so that he could go home, the well-behaved girl who consistently reminded her classmates to lower their voices and so on and on.

it's a good thing that i took up this mendaki assignment - it's making me realise more and more that teaching, especially in primary school, might be my calling after all.

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i think i'm getting better at alfiyan being in the SAF, now that i've settled down into my daily activities namely friends, tuition and gym. it's gotten so good that i feel like i don't even miss him so much anymore. as awful as that sounds, i don't mean it in a negative way - i still think about him ALL THE TIME but it doesn't hurt as much to be apart now.

alfiyan was really sweet tonight. although i kept telling him to go to sleep to get the most rest possible, he kept saying 'five more minutes please baby'. to be honest i got annoyed after a while but this changed to guilt, and later, love for alfiyan, after he explained how bad he felt for not being able to call me as often as usual since he's busier now with military stuff like the standard obstacle course, individual marksmanship training, etc, which takes him away from the bunks.

after we've hung up, i received another call from alfiyan a few seconds later. the reason for the call? - "nothing, i just miss you is all."

so i'm sure you can understand why there isn't a day which passes by that i don't feel like the luckiest girl to have alfiyan as my boyfriend. despite this disconcerting phase that i'm going through (which i'm still trying to figure out btw), i have faith that it will all be okay eventually, insya'Allah.

i love you, baby.

randomness arising from little quantum fluctuations.

i've known this since ages ago (starting from that first time when alfiyan literally swept a 62kg-me off my feet and into his arms), but it still amazes me just how strong my boyfriend is. today i found out that he can do pull-ups using just TWO fingers - something i never knew could be accomplished. plus alfiyan also holds the record for the highest number of pull-ups in his platoon (15 pull-ups).

how cool is that? (:

sometimes i envy girls whose boyfriends are in civil defence or the police force instead of the SAF. i don't know for sure, but it sure seems like they get to meet their boyfriends a lot more often. and even when their boyfriends have to book into camp, they will still be on mainland as opposed to an offshore island (read: tekong) which to me, is a lot more daunting. so i assume that those lucky girls are probably spared the extra pain that those whose boyfriends are in the SAF experience.

but whatever, i'm still very glad that alfiyan's in the SAF because there's something about soldiers that turn me on! heheheee.

my siblings make me really happy sometimes. they cheered me up while i was still feeling traces of sadness on the way home from sending alfiyan off to pasir ris by playing a stupid phone prank on me.


i love you silly guys!

oh and i realise that my awareness for my surroundings is very poor. apparently today i was in the same cabin with a relative and i never noticed he was there although he was seated right beside me for a full ten minutes! it was until he waved his hands in front of my face that i was shocked into detecting his presence. he cracked me up when he told me that he tried to track down my hp (since i was so engrossed in playing quadropop) via bluetooth but was unsuccessful. hahaha.

have i mentioned? alfiyan + me = LOVE!


you have stolen my heart...

4 weeks down, 8 more weeks to go! (:

my day was spent as follows:


i was supposed to pick up alfiyan from pasir ris this morning, but i was super late so i asked my sweetheart to meet me at tampines bus interchange instead. if you hadn't noticed, he had his head shaved again! can you spell h-o-t? (:


and then we caught a train ride back to woodlands, after alfiyan changed and did his laundry etc., during which alfiyan mostly did this:


once we reached causeway point, we had lunch/dinner here:




see? his outfit matches with the restaurant colour theme! :)

after that we went to cold storage to buy donuts from the newly-opened munchy donuts!






then we made our way to the cinema to catch the much-awaited harry potter and the order of the phoenix. the movie obviously did not match the standards of the book, but that was to be expected, eh? here's us in the theatre while waiting for the movie to start:


and so that was how our day went. it was waaaayyy too short for my liking but hey, it's better than nothing i suppose. in less than 24 hours alfiyan will have to be back in camp. sigh.

i love you, my darling, and i'll miss you to no end.

why does tonight have to end?
why don't we hit restart,
and pause it at our favourite parts?

we'll skip the goodbyes...

homemade pizzas!! (well, sort of).

i wanted to wait for photos from clarisse's camera before blogging about my day of pizza-making, but i guess that would take a bit longer than i'm willing to wait. for now, though, let's make do with photos from my phone, eh? (:

i met adilah at causeway point on thursday at about 1230pm, after which we headed straight on to cold storage to buy the things we needed - pizza dough, capsicum, mushrooms, lots of cheese, tomato puree, and we even found halal pepperoni and bacon! once we reached my house, we started chopping up ingredients which needed chopping up:




after that we bummed around until clarisse arrived, who was late since she was feeling lazy that day from clubbing the night before.

here's adilah spreading some tomato puree onto the pizza bases while clarisse played with her hair. hahaha!


and these are our masterpieces! actually we baked four pizzas altogether but i think they're more or less the same:




don't they just look absolutely yummy? hehe. i let my dad try some and i think he liked it (although he never said anything) because he told me to bake some more for the kids this sunday, when he and my mom are away on a romantic getaway to bangkok for the weekend. (:

speaking of the weekend - IT'S HERE!! this means that i get to meet alfiyan real soon, insya'allah, if nothing comes up like guard duty or whatever.

i can't wait, sayang! <3

p.s. adilah, thanks for cheering me up today - i love you!

i'm yours - jason mraz

this is us on the tanjong beach/palawan beach beach tram:


tanjong beach was awesome.

it was quiet, and we found the perfect spot to have our own private little picnic. :)



the fooooood.


i know, his slippers look smaller than mine right? i told you i have humongous feet!



it would've been perfect if not for the irritating group of caucasian kids who let their huge dogs roam around unleashed (the dogs got SO NEAR to us i almost screamed!).

but oh, well. just being with alfiyan was perfect enough for me.

thanks for such an awesome day sayang!

all excited!

although it has become relatively easier to be apart from you, i still miss you like crazy.


sayang, i can't wait to see you again! =)